Monday, January 19, 2015

I've Lost My Fingerprints and I Can't Get Them Back!

I've taken a full time job in the securities business. As part of having that job, I had to take the Series 7 licensing exam.  Ugh.  I passed, but the agony of studying for and actually taking a test at this phase of my life was pure and simple torture.  And it's a topic for a blog post all of its own. 

My fingerprints were required in order to receive my license.  I guess my life of crime would now come to a screeching halt if my fingerprints could be identified.  First I went to the sheriff's office, paid $20 cash and had digital fingerprints made.  So twenty-first century doing it digitally!  And no muss no fuss. 

A couple days later, the regulatory agency came back to me and said the prints were not acceptable.  They wanted prints from ink.  I called the sheriff's office.  They don't do ink, only digital.  With no one to refer me to for ink prints, I set off making phone calls to every police department around.  No.  No and no was the answer each time.  Finally I found a police outpost at the local mall, staffed with volunteers that could do ink. 

The man took my $20 cash and carefully rolled my fingers in the ink and printed the cards.  He sprayed my hands with some kind of special ink remover and allowed me one paper towel to wipe off the mess.  Needless to say I left with two fresh fingerprint cards and dirty hands. 

Again, the regulatory agency informed me the prints were no good.  Back I go to the mall.  This time a different volunteer is there.  I explained to him that my prints keep getting rejected.  First he took my $20 cash, thought for a minute and said, "Do you wash alot of dishes?"

Anyone that knows me will know the answer to that is a resounding no!

"What kind of work do you do?" he asked. 

Without overdoing the details I said, "I work on the computer, and I'm also a writer."

"Ah.  Typing wears off your fingerprints.  I'll give you a letter that says these are the best prints available."

This time I left with dirty hands, two fingerprint cards and a letter.  This time my fingerprints were accepted.   

Now my life of crime is back on!  Ha!  Or maybe I should start writing murder mysteries.  I'm sure I can make some kind of story line out of a writer's tired and worn out fingerprints.  How about a best selling writer by day and cat burglar by night as the prime suspect?  And a tenacious detective who is brought to the brink by the lack of clues to the crime. 

Inspiration for a writer can strike in the strangest situations. I can't wait to wear down my fingerprints some more while I write it!

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