Turn Off the Television

There was nothing on television tonight. Our beloved Tampa Bay Rays had a well deserved night off.  So You Think You Can Dance had its grand finale last week and I've never really cared for The Office.  I watched 5 minutes of it with Will Farrell and I liked it even less.  Channel surfing was our only option.

Richard landed on a TLC show called Tattoo School.  Neither of us cares for tattoos.  We don't understand why someone would want to do that to their body in the first place.  But that doesn't stop our fascination with Kat D and LA Ink.

Did you know that in Tattoo School the students learn to tattoo on a banana?  It has a smooth skin.  After they tattooed the banana, the class moved immediately onto the real thing.  A live person.  One guy threw up at the thought.  Time to change the channel.

The movie, Conan The Barbarian, appeared on the screen.  The movie was made in 1982 so it looked really old and grainy even on a big screen TV.  Words began to pop up at the bottom of the screen.

Story Line: James Earl Jones is also known for playing another character who wore a black helmet.
Movie Line: They wanted to shoot the movie in Yugoslavia but decided it was too dangerous.  The movie was shot in Spain.
Story Line: Arnold S. hung the sword Conan used on the wall of his office while governor of California.
Movie Line: There was a coup in Spain while the movie was being filmed there.

This went on and on, one trivial fact after another.  And I hate reading subtitles.  It's too distracting. Richard asked me whose head was just cut off and I had no idea.  I was too busy reading.

Back to Tattoo School.  The amateurs had graduated to the real thing.  The guy with the queasy stomach was now drenched in sweat while poking the ink filled needle into his unsuspecting victim.  I moved on to watching people try to buy and sell million dollar properties in New York City.

By this time Richard was sound asleep on the sofa.  I turned off the TV and took Ginger for a walk.  If this is what it takes to entertain the American public, then I'm really going to be in trouble when baseball season ends in October.  There's a long stretch in between baseball season and the start of American Idol.  I've been thinking of furthering my education.  Do you think I can get a scholarship to Tattoo School? On second thought,that won't work.  I'm allergic to bananas.