Sunday, September 20, 2015

Blackout: Remembering the things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank To Forget by Sarah Hepola

Although I haven't had a drink in almost 6 years, I still need to be reminded why I made that choice.  I knew from page one how painful this book would be for me to read.  The title alone told me what was ahead.

Blackouts.  I'm sure I've had few but I don't remember.  Sarah learned to like beer at a very young age.  I also grew up in a time if I asked my father for a sip of his beer, I'd get one.  I don't think my drinking started until college but maybe its roots run deeper than Thursday nights at the Brathaus.  Oh I forgot, it was high school when my friends and I would sit outside the 7 Eleven until someone would buy us a six pack.  See what alcohol can do.  It makes you forget.

Sarah is brutally honest in this memoir, from hiding a case of beer in her closet, to being the life of the party, and waking up in bed with men she didn't know.  On assignment in Paris, Sarah tells of coming to, in a hotel room with a strange man.  She dresses and leaves only to discover she doesn't have her purse.  Unable to remember her room number, she enlists help from the night concierge.  What happens next, Sarah has never forgotten.  Alcohol is the great manipulator.

Blackout is the story of an alcoholic woman and her road to recovery.  Under the fog of alcohol, life seemed easier, more free and uninhibited.  Giving it up meant Sarah had to be honest with all those things she wanted to forget that were hidden deep inside.  I get that.  The reason that this book was so painful for me, is that even in sobriety, I need to be reminded how far I have come.

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank To Forget is not a story only for those of us who have walked down Sarah's same path.  Sarah paints a vivid picture of what it is like to be addicted and how hard it is to come out on the other side.  But with the support of many people in every facet of an alcoholic's life, a better life is waiting.  I can clearly remember what it was like to stop drinking and become sober.  Nothing about it was pleasant or fun.  It is that ability to remember that keeps me sober.  And I think Sarah would agree.


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