"I'm having a hot flash. A tropical hot flash," the actress sang in a deep, guttural voice.
The audience roared.
Last night I went with a group of women to see Menopause, The Musical at a local theater. This was girl's night out on a massive scale. Out of 2000 seats, maybe 20 were filled by men. And Lord help the poor guy who sprung for front row seats. He'll never take his wife out to the theater again.
From wrinkles, to failing eyesight, to having to pee constantly, this show covered it all. Menopause, The Musical was 90 minutes of non stop laughter. Every woman in the place finally learned that they weren't the only one turning a bright shade of red in the middle of the grocery story.
I also learned that there is not a woman over the age of 50 that can sleep. Every single one of them is taking something, none of which works.
"I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep," I said in the car on the ride home.
"I haven't had a good night's sleep in years," my friend, Kay announced.
"The Advil PM works best for me but even then it doesn't work most of the time. Has anybody tried that new Nyquil stuff?" another woman asked.
"Oh, that doesn't work," the driver of the car answered in a very matter of fact manner. "I'll give you my bottle. See if it works for you."
Now I get it. Menopause is the one thing all women have in common. It keeps us up all night so we can talk about exchanging drugs in the back seat of a car. Nothing illegal going on here. We are happy to trade with out fellow womankind. Relief for one may be relief for us all. We've crossed sleep off our to do list because even if we can nod off, it won't last long. We'll just have to get up and pee again. Or change the wet sheets. Pick your poison.
I rolled down the window and stuck my head out. I'm all hot and drippy. I'm having a hot flash. Something suddenly hit me.
"How much further? I've gotta go."
The audience roared.
Last night I went with a group of women to see Menopause, The Musical at a local theater. This was girl's night out on a massive scale. Out of 2000 seats, maybe 20 were filled by men. And Lord help the poor guy who sprung for front row seats. He'll never take his wife out to the theater again.
From wrinkles, to failing eyesight, to having to pee constantly, this show covered it all. Menopause, The Musical was 90 minutes of non stop laughter. Every woman in the place finally learned that they weren't the only one turning a bright shade of red in the middle of the grocery story.
I also learned that there is not a woman over the age of 50 that can sleep. Every single one of them is taking something, none of which works.
"I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep," I said in the car on the ride home.
"I haven't had a good night's sleep in years," my friend, Kay announced.
"The Advil PM works best for me but even then it doesn't work most of the time. Has anybody tried that new Nyquil stuff?" another woman asked.
"Oh, that doesn't work," the driver of the car answered in a very matter of fact manner. "I'll give you my bottle. See if it works for you."
Now I get it. Menopause is the one thing all women have in common. It keeps us up all night so we can talk about exchanging drugs in the back seat of a car. Nothing illegal going on here. We are happy to trade with out fellow womankind. Relief for one may be relief for us all. We've crossed sleep off our to do list because even if we can nod off, it won't last long. We'll just have to get up and pee again. Or change the wet sheets. Pick your poison.
I rolled down the window and stuck my head out. I'm all hot and drippy. I'm having a hot flash. Something suddenly hit me.
"How much further? I've gotta go."
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