Better Than a Sleeping Pill

I'm at this very moment sitting in a big cozy chair at the bookstore.  I came here to try to write my memoir.  Sitting at home where the story contained in my memoir has unfolded, was just not doing it for me today.  I thought if I surrounded myself with words, I'd find some inspiration.  Not much luck in that regard, but I am writing a blog post.  So at least I'm writing.

There are other people here, curled up in the gray leather chairs doing what else, but reading a book.  Bookstores have turned into personal libraries and coffee houses.  If people feel right at home, it stands to reason they would not only read books while here but take a little nap while they're at it.

Across from me sits a middle aged woman with three pink children's books in her lap.  She holds one open resting it on her stomach, the pop up of Cinderella's castle less than an inch from her nose. Soon the book begins to float up and down along with her breathing. Then it snaps down only to be caught and returned to eye level.  This happens over and over again.  Her eyes remain closed through the entire routine.  A man comes over, sitting down next to her and touches her on the arm.  It must be her husband.  Her eyes never open.  He wedges himself in the seat resting his reading material on the arm of the chair.  He sits upright.  I look at him closely.  He too, is sound asleep within seconds of arriving.

I moved to this seating area earlier because the snoring man next to me really wasn't helping me to write.  At least these two weren't making any noise.

No matter what time of day or night, no matter where you may find yourself, there's nothing like reading a good book to calm the nerves and relax the body.  Ooops.  I dozed off for a minute myself.

Confessions Abound

I have to say the 12 step program just isn't working for me.  It has prompted me to do some soul searching however.  What am I really searching for in my life?  Do I want to rid myself of books?  No.  I love books. Do I want to be able to resist them?  Yes.  Am I searching for an answer to other addictions in my life?  Probably.

I ended up in the bookstore last week.  I added four new books to my list.  My shelves never seem to get any lighter even though I'm reading and reviewing at a fast pace.  I bought a book on addiction cures for atheists.  I want to see if that can shed any additional light on my dilemma.    

My sister wants me to take all my unread books to the library without reading them and be done with them.  I could start fresh.  Tempting.  I'm afraid at this point in time I may not be able to check them out of the library.  I'll go back to the bookstore and hand over the credit card for a whole new set of unread books.

A good friend wants me to stop suffering through all these bad books for the sake of reading something good and worthwhile.  How will I know it's good by looking at the cover?  So far I haven't been very successful at that.  Something that I like, the next guy may detest and vice versa.  What are the qualities of a good book?  What skills do I need to learn to pick the 'good' book out of the crowd every time?

Maybe that's what I'm looking for, a good book so that I can write my own good book and people will be dying to buy it.  Maybe all this is being driven by my dream to be a successful writer.  It's a dream so vivid that I can't shake it off.  I'm going to find the answer.  I know I am.  It's in my dreams.